Milestones Autism Conference: Why not ask for help?

In Creating A New Community for Adults, as part of the 2023 Milestones National Autism Conference, I make the argument that as parents and guardians we need to ask for help.

Parenting an adult on the autism spectrum is a bit more nuanced, but contains some of the same joys, frustrations, and obstacles seen with parenting young adults. We are constantly entering the unknown, navigating financial challenges, leaping through legal hoops, dealing with ongoing disappointment as businesses turn their backs to those seeking an internship or living wage, and trying to find housing or create a home environment that can expand with the will of an adult on the spectrum. Yes, we have a lot going on.

So, why don’t we ask for help?

The truth is many of us have been alone on this journey of parenting and autism for a long time. Family and friends may pitch in, but the day-to-day is all on you.  At best, asking for help is a strategic move saved for only major issues.

This was the case with me. If I could divert some funds then find and hire help, I did. If I couldn’t handle a situation, I allowed it to fester unless a friend offered, for example, to be Terence’s running coach so he could stay fit or provided a social opportunity by including him in game night.

It wasn’t until the shock of limited work options and supports for adults on the spectrum collided with my age that I decided to make a change.

At 60, I realized that I needed to protect my energy. Now I am still feisty, but some of that Mommy fight and attention is required to preserve my own mental and physical health. This meant expanding my options. I needed to open our lives, share our wants and needs,  and invite others in to help.

Creating a New Community for Adults invites others to share their gifts and talents to help you and your adult on the spectrum thrive. My goal was to create a team of folks, like the supports Terence had during his school years, who would help him achieve his needs and goals. In the process, I get support too.  My presentation at the Milestones Conference shares my experience creating a community gathering for Terence, provides a glimpse of the Gathering Zoom meeting, and offers a roadmap for others to create their own community for adults.

Still, asking for help can be scary. I get it. The alternative is embracing fear or worry and shouldering a heavy load of responsibility. For me, inviting people in my network to help is enlightening. I’ve found that people are genuinely interested in learning more about autism and in sharing their time, gifts, and talents with us. It’s a thrilling new chapter.

In the coming months, I will share more on why it’s hard to ask for help, how Terence’s community is rallying around him, and ways you can invite others to help create community for adults on the spectrum.

For more on the accessing content from the Milestones National Autism Conference, visit their registration page at www.milestonesconference.org.