Refill your tanks

It’s important to monitor your personal tanks and keep them filled. As parents/guardians we get so focused on the needs of others that we can push down our own needs in sacrifice for others, and this includes our employers.

The best place to start in seeking life balance is to monitor your moods. If you feel anxious, frustrated, or even sluggish, this is a great indicator that your emotional tanks are low or empty.

I confess to always being on the low side of my emotional tanks. As a solo mom, reformed workaholic, and slayer of bad habits, it’s easy to ignore the signs of fatigue and frustration as normal. That’s just the way it’s always been and will always be.

Not so fast.

There are tools to help live a more balanced life, if we choose to embrace them. Author Sheri Salata and Nancy Hala, co-founders of Pillar Life, had a wonderful podcast called the Sheri + Nancy Show where they discussed overturning and habits and adoption new ones.  In their case, the pillars represented the elements that supported a healthy lifestyle. Their pillars included health/fitness, money & abundance,  etc. As the cofounders entered their fifties, they realized the necessity of paying attention to these pillars and the impact on their well being as they engineered the next season of their lives. Author and podcaster Patrice Washington has a similar framework where she’s outlines the five elements that make her life more fulfilled, including the importance of chasing purpose, not money.

Self-care is an important concept I wish I’d embraced sooner.

Specifically, asking myself what do I need to stay strong, healthy and happy in this life’s journey? Before I walked away from a 30-year career in communications, my focus was not on nurture but on survival. My internal dialogue went something like this: “How do I pay these bills?” Or “How do I deal with this SOB manager?” Or “Why am I so tired?” “How do I deal with this freakin’ teacher who I could strangle?” And the constant worry of a parent or guardian with a child/adult on the autism spectrum, “How do I ensure his or her needs are met?”

Do you see the problem?

By focusing on my fears and striving to please others to stay employed, this left little room for me to bring in the sunlight, be open to new ideas or even listen to my own internal cries for rest and renewal.

So what are your pillars?

Here are mine:

Self Care/Health — How do I feel today? If I’m tired, what am I doing about it? Have I journaled? Have I practiced stillness? Have I conducted a self breast exam? Do I need a Netflix night with popcorn? Am I reading a good book? Have I made all of my annual health appointments?

Money & Abundance — Learning and taking control of my finances and breaking patterns. Have all the bills been paid on time and am I building reserves? Have I read a money or finance article/blog/podcast today?

Productivity— Am I executing on the things that are important to me? My new business venture or clearing out the clutter? This is not about meeting other people’s goals. Instead, it’s focusing my attention on the things I want to get done that will improve my quality of life. A clean kitchen is a power booster when I come home from a long night of work. A freshly made bed is a welcome sight for weary bones, etc.

Friends and Connections —  Have I done more than text friends and family? Have I mailed those darn birthday cards I keep buying??? Have I spoken with my parents, a friend? Have I really gone on that lunch date? Who can I reconnect with instead of just liking something on Facebook or LinkedIN?In short, it’s about intentionality. I love making connections with others and I enjoy getting together, even if by Zoom.

Learning and Laughter — Am I pushing beyond my comfort zone? What interest me? Where can I learn a new skill or hone another? How can I push my creativity to another level?What scares me and how can I use information to temper my anxiety? Learn more or share my learnings.

Stay tuned for updates on how I am achieving these my pillars.